Since coming off Effexor six weeks ago, I have begun experiencing all sorts of interesting new and old sensations and emotions. I’m sure I will write about them all, but today I wanted to address one physical manifestation of emotions with which I have been dealing.
When I was a kid, I got a lot of headaches and stomach aches, especially at school. These were, for the most part, emotionally generated. They were very real and I could feel them. School and home alike acted like I was faking because they occurred so frequently. I no longer suffer from these ailments.
Now that I am on the other side of the Effexor withdrawals, I am more keenly aware of new, different, or uncovered feelings. Everything feels so raw now. I get this weird physical manifestation now.
This is the only way I can explain it:
Imagine your skin is a conductor of electricity. When an extreme emotion (self-doubt, fear, shame, anger) –the electricity in this model– hits your brain, it is transported through the body only along the skin, eventually landing like butterflies in your stomach. The sensation lasts a couple of seconds to several minutes, and is usually accompanied with a couple of seconds of paralysis.
I begin therapy again on Monday. It has been almost a year since I have been. I am curious what her take on this will be. My take is it makes me feel like I am a big ‘ole nut-bag. I am holding out final judgment on myself till after Monday’s session.