Calming Down


Meditation (Photo credit: holisticgeek)



About 4 months ago, I started meditating semi-regularly for the 1st time in my life.


My therapist had shown me some breathing exercises to do when I was caught in a panic-attack, along with some calming/reassuring mantras. I have found these techniques to be highly effective over the past 4 years.


The initial 10 weeks off Effexor, I was having many major bouts with anxiety…and that’s what they are…prize-fights. (Check out some of my blogs from the last few months for all the horrific details). The breathing/mantras came to the rescue again during this time.


But I wanted more. So I started reading-up on meditation. It turns out that the breathing exercises I was taught are very similar to basic meditation. I also became convinced that meditation was what I needed to pull my mind together (I also read a ton of Buddhist literature as well).


So I started. It has been slow going. Until the last few weeks, there had been no noticeable change in my mind. So I went on vacation and got away from my life for awhile…and meditated..on the beach (easy place to meditate)…by a river…in my tent…everywhere.


Oh yeah, just before vacation, I stopped listening to music on my way to work. I have  a 35 minute commute, so I can spend some quality time with myself. Of course, you cannot close your eyes while driving, so I just concentrated my breathing and quieting my mind. I am still doing this (read my blog How Music Saved My Life to know what I am giving up).


I’m starting to see results. Slowly.


I have less anxiety.


Woo Hoo!!!   I have less anxiety!!!!


Everything else is the same, but I have less anxiety. It is no longer smoldering under the mattress of my mind. It has loosened its grip. YEAH!!!!


This week I went to a Buddhist center in town and attended two classes: Intro to Buddhism & Intro to Meditation.  I believe I am ready to learn other techniques of meditating. And we did a lot of meditating in these two classes.


I am encouraged that I am healing. I needed therapy, now I need this. Someday, I may need both. For now, I have less anxiety.


And that  is money in my emotional bank!



About ~Drew

I am a survivor of childhood torture. Each day, I put one foot in front of the other, moving forward. To do any less would spell my own destruction. My music/poetry/prose deal with the devastating effect of this kind of abuse on a human being: me. My experiences/thoughts/ideas/misconceptions are exposed here for all to see. Here. I am lain bare, naked, hidden only be the cloak of anonymity.
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3 Responses to Calming Down

  1. It’s a great feeling catching a break with anxiety, isn’t it?! That’s so great that you’re doing breathing exercises. I wasn’t much of a believer of them as well as progressive relaxation at first, but like you said, you give them time and you’ll see some results! Way to stick with it!

  2. Pingback: What I Know About Meditation Practice (You Could Fit in a Thimble) « Musings of a Baby Buddhist

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