After surviving all of it, over and over again, realize this. Even though it feels as if you are back in the same hell, without having made even a tear drop full of progress, take a step out and look at yourself from this perspective.
A brave individual stands before you. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. I know you can see him now in all his glory. He is strong. Just look at him. Look at what he has overcome. Look at how he spreads kindness across the world in the face of great evil. Surrounded by evil, he stands his ground.
Know that he has brought me out of darkness and despair. I have seen him descend into the depths of hell and climb out level by level. I have seen him bring joy to those still swirling in those depths with him, pushing them up ahead of himself.
He has gotten lost and swept away in the storm. And I have gotten pulled into the tornado. We have had to bear it ourselves, alone. Sometimes, we must suffer in the silence of our solitude. Sometimes, it is the only way.
But, then, having untangled ourselves, purged the toxic dredge, drank from a fresh, clear stream – we get back up brush ourselves off and stand back up. We keep on walking, together this time.
Together more often now. And more often, when we do travel as one, we carry the other so closely in our hearts, that even in our turmoil we know that the calm is coming.
U Keep Walking Forward 
“During the time of the darkest night,”says the Talmud, “act as if the morning has already come.” – A Return To Love Marianne Williamson
I heard a long time ago that what people do to you has nothing to do with you….but when the spell of my lover wore off and I really looked at all the red flags I ignored or explained away I thought I had betrayed myself. This man was extremely skillful at reading my every micro expression,,,he “groomed” me for a year before we went beyond talking. I am NOT responsible for somebody abusing me. I did begin to feel freedom when I looked at that part of me that was more afraid of being alone than questioning this “nice” guy’s honesty or integrity.
I
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