AIDS of the Brain

I have heard it said

That tough times

Make you stronger~

Idiomatic expressions

Exist in abundance

That illuminate

This point with

Succinct eloquence.

 

I guess I should be

Thankful to be alive,

Yet there are times

I am not.

 

I am advised by

My learnéd counselor

To embrace the past

And use it to

Make myself stronger.

 

I refuse.

Today, I refuse.

 

Today, I rebel against

The hell in my mind~

The walls I put up

For protection

That now keep

Dear ones out~

My ability to fragment

When depression

Comes crashing in.

 

I did not ask for

Any of this~

Yet, I must live

With the consequences

Of another’s actions

For the remainder

Of my days.

 

I say no.

Rip it out, doctor~

Gut it~

Purge it~

Kill it~

For I want none of it.

 

So many have

Snuffed out the light

Rather than suffer

With this AIDS of the brain,

Waiting for the avalanche

That will take you out.

 

For many, this is inevitable.

For most, you just don’t know

If the sentence is terminal.

 

Today, I am thankful to

Be alive.

Today, I live.

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About ~Drew

I am a survivor of childhood torture. Each day, I put one foot in front of the other, moving forward. To do any less would spell my own destruction. My music/poetry/prose deal with the devastating effect of this kind of abuse on a human being: me. My experiences/thoughts/ideas/misconceptions are exposed here for all to see. Here. I am lain bare, naked, hidden only be the cloak of anonymity.
This entry was posted in C-PTSD, coping, depression, poetry, psychology, ptsd, recovery, therapy and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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