Giddy-up Trigger!

If I have learned two things in my 42 years of existence they are these: never say “damn, how could things get worse,” or, “things are really great right now.” If you do, you are guaranteeing yourself to have a shitty time in the foreseeable future. This has been my world the past week. I will not go into details because I do not wish to dwell on the events themselves, but am attempting to move on. Before I do, I wish to put a few thoughts down for posterity sake.

–I hate hate hate being triggered. It is bad for my mood and complexion (just kidding about the second one).

–I have no control over when I will be triggered.

–I am now able to recognize that I am triggered. Knowing this fact keeps me from self-deprecating.

–Lately, when I am triggered, I am able to step out of it a bit, allow myself to watch it closely, and ride the wave.

–This week, I was double and triple triggered and was not as able to gain perspective.

–Conclusion: multiple triggers are dangerous for me.

–It is okay to get angry. The world will not end.

–Being triggered is a part of my life.

–I am triggered because someone abused me.

–I am reacting to what happened to me.

–It is not my fault.

–With time and therapy, I am learning to live with this burden.

–I am a good person. I am not weak. It is not my fault. I am a good person. I am a good person. I am a good person.

~Keep Walking

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About ~Drew

I am a survivor of childhood torture. Each day, I put one foot in front of the other, moving forward. To do any less would spell my own destruction. My music/poetry/prose deal with the devastating effect of this kind of abuse on a human being: me. My experiences/thoughts/ideas/misconceptions are exposed here for all to see. Here. I am lain bare, naked, hidden only be the cloak of anonymity.
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